it's been a really tiring day at work...

had to deal with lotsa crap from other people and on top of that... email went bonkers. ARGH. Sometimes, at times like these, you just feel like screaming or whining... it gets to you and your day is just shitty after that...

well, then u wanna just run home to curl into a ball and sleep so that all the bad stuff will go away.. *shoo*... but right now, i hafta gear myself up... to head for the TORTURE CHAMBER... eeks, wish me luck folks...

i hate work sometimes, but i guess its not the nature of the work, its more of sucky mgmt and weird people....

the weekend as usual, just flew by in an instance.

it was a weird weekend of sorts, like "chapalang"... did lotsa mis-mash stuff.

hung out on friday nite with a special someone, just chilling, having dinner and walking around. It was great.

had some nice alone-time on sat, where i could catch up on some reading, worked out abit and slept alot. ha. it's nice to just be with yourself, being introspective, doing some thinking... about life and dreams. Kinda torn between reality and my dream life in the future... and somehow, being termed an 'adult' now, i just hafta figure it out somehow, choose my own path and whether it is the one less travelled or the safe route that everyone expects you to take.

got ready to meet the family for a nice lil' sesh of bowling. oh my... bowling, i haven't heard that for the longest time, since back in my RV days where we used to sneak off to JEC (the hip acronym for jurong entertainment centre) to just hang out at the fastfood outlets and the bowling alley, watching the lot just roll some balls... it was damn fun, and super nostalgic.

well, haven't picked up a bowling ball since my sec sch days and seriously, i don't remember being that bad! hah. I SUCK AT BOWLING. i have no clue to how to approach it and me and bowling just don't really go. well, me and my other 2 cousins (ryan and carolyn) made up the Longkang Club cos that's the direction our ball keeps heading despite our best efforts to steer it towards a strike. ha. well, my other cousins were surprisingly adept at the sport or at least, they were pretty decent. Guess it will be a while before i pick up another bowling ball. It was fun, laughing at each other's boo boos and cheering Rayner on... he is just an uber cutie.

headed over to thomas' place for Mj after that... ha we played all the way till like 4 plus in the morning. i was so zombified from shuffling the tiles. somehow, it is super addictive! great workout for the brain too... i think i am looking forward to retirement if this is what awaits... well, service was great too, from the guys, who went out to get Macs in the middle of the nite. (din wanna wait 45 mins for the delivery guy)... haha it was just comfy hanging out with the musketeereens... heh. Can't wait for next week when Yan comes back!

somehow i think my life for now, is kinda settled down. No more ups and downs every other day. its a comforting feeling but when you are in your comfort zone, you wonder how long it will last. I know, there is no point worrying about anything and i have no control over the future either, so i guess, it is more of counting my blessings now, at this very moment.

I think somehow i have also learnt alot. Learnt to let go, and have a looser rein on things. I still value the people and the way my life has turned out, but somehow, if people leave, come or go, and i don't have control over it, i won't try to stop it. It will probably hurt but i have learnt to let go of things more easily now. It is more of "come what may" and "whatever is meant to be, will be". I guess i won't start to compromise the person that i am, for anything else in this world. To me, some say i have a huge heart that is meant to love and if there is no love in my life, i guess, i'll just shower it on my friends and the special people who deserve it the most. But for now, i will let love find me, and not go chasing it in any way...

well, that was just me reflecting and internalising my own feelings by typing it out. nothing more than that and nothing to read into... things are good and pretty perfect at the moment... it's still one step at a time....

just keep going.

Just got home from a long day at work and a nice night out. This is gonna be a random tired post of simple pleasures in my life.


n.y.d.c return of 2x choc cake... sinful but equally delightful.



nice manicured nails that i almost ruined after a trip to the toilet.... damn that bladder


great company... best i could ask for. Tweed and Dunkles...

Don't know anymore if i'll ever wake up from this dream or is it really me living out the reality...
Even if its a few more months of this bliss... i guess its all worth it.

Its been a really really busy week... i don't really even have time to really type out my updates.. oh well, wham bam, almost another week gone and it has just been a whirlwind of events...

of course, like every other person out that, i caught Harry Potter on Saturday.. heh. Went into the cinema without expecting too much, knowing that they will prob leave out chunks from the book, so came out feeling pretty good... exciting triwizard competition... well, conclusion is that most people who didn't read the book will love it ( ie Ernie, who couldn't stop saying how much he enjoyed the show), book people will prob think its ok (ie ME) and the purists will prob hate it (ie Xiaxue). I thought it was a decent effort and it was worth the moolah paid...

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Bought my new phone... that looks like a remote control (SE K600i)... bought it cos it was cheap for a 3G phone and functions were pretty similar to the K750i that i liked, but it was 200 dollars cheaper, so the cheap phone won... hehe.

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Dropped by Expo on Sunday to help out my company's sucky booth at the family fest... well at least it was fun for a few hours...

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Ha managed to get press preview tics to Chicken Little on Tuesday nite... It was alrite but not as great as i thought it would be. The guy that was sitting 2 seats away was just laughing his ass off while i was wondering what was so funny about it. Don't get me wrong, i am not anti-disney nor anti-animated films... i enjoyed Incredibles and loved Nemo... but, the chicken was just not that funny. Zach Braff, whom i totally lurrrrrve from Scrubs was also just wrong for the voice... he's too much of a man! Chicken Little deserves a wimpier voice... So all in all... Ernie and I were glad that the tickets were free after all...... it just wasn't worth $9.50.

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Headed to town last night for dinner with the musketeereens... FINALLY. Finally the guys finished their papers and we got to meet up for dinner at Far East. Agenda for the night was Yan's return. We wanted to plan something exciting and delicious when he finally comes back next Sat for a 3-day stay. Finally after alot of food, and more food at Newton later... we have finalised the plans...

After all that discussing, we decided we needed one mahjong sesh this weekend... to gear us all up, cos we didnt wanna be playing mahjong when Yan comes back... we need quality time with the man.. haha... so mahjong it is this weekend.......... hurrah!

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Yes i am going mad.... with all the work and no $. I wanna buy a Balenciaga motocycle bag... but i need more moolah.............. i wanna win TOTO and 4 D but i dun buy it...so thanks you guys reading this.... i dont mind a nice xmas present! ok i know it isn't the hippest in-bag now, but i kinda like it, unlike the Fendi Spy bag... which i feel isn't as nice.

OK now that i am shameless... i will just add abit more.... i dont mind the colour, maybe white or cream would be my preference... so lovely friends... u know what to do... heheh here's a pic for all your reference!

YAAAWN is the word of the day.

I am officially brain-dead and going on STRIKE at work. Due to crappy 'other' departments and deadlines to meet i was at the office till a ghostly hour of 2 am last night. Yet i hafta trudge back in at 9 in the morning (yes, of course i was late, but still... ) Hmmf.

Now i am feeling grumpy and zonked.

Just spoke to Ah Sen on MSN just now... and we both realised that we've known each other for 10 years now (actually 11 years as Ernie corrected me). He was one of my first few good friends back in Sec 1 and its a wonder that we still meet up and hang out now. But, in faraway Sweden my dear bro is now... so its been awhile...

Sen: I still think we hang out too little...
Pam: Yar i think so too...
S: So next time i jio you out, you must come ah...
P: Yar of course..
S: Like central perk...
P: oh rem how we used to dream of having neighbouring apartments in the same building!

Ha... those were the good ol' days. Not sure if that's gonna ever come true but with F.r.i.e.n.d.s like these, somehow they have the ability to make you smile.

Looking forward to Potter-ing tomorrow!

WHAT'S WITH STALE AIR AND THE OFFICE?

Argh, i am irritated... there are 2 weird people in the office who keeps playing with the aircon remote and adjusting it, turning it up, turning it down. It is damn irritating, and somehow, when you are cold, you can pile up on the jackets, but if you're hot, you can't do a damn thing. I wish they would just leave the aircon alone and at least be considerate to the rest of the people in the same room.

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On another note, i wanna say HI to my cousins who read my blog. My lovely cousins, who are so much younger than me, that its a shame that you all realise what a whiny bitch i am, and somehow you all chanced upon my blog cos i think my sis used to have a link... or whatever. Now that the damage is done, i need to write a disclaimer, that do not, and i mean DO NOT take what i write and do as the model example that i should be setting, cos sometimes, we are all weak, useless and whiny. However, i would love to share my life with you guys, as family, blood is always thicker than any kind of water out there. I hope to shed light to what life is like as a 23 year old, if you all could actually sieve out all the complaining.

Only point to remember... is that, everything in blogosphere, stays in blogosphere. That means no whiff of this is to reach the people who are not known as COUSINS... which means the older people with white hair and people we call our mums/dads/aunts/uncles will not hear about this. Sometimes we all just need a secret haven to vent our frustrations...

Remember, your secret is safe with me as long as you keep mine too.... *wink*

It's never easy and never will be easy peasy.

Trudging on with faith and holding on with love.

It's been a whirlwind weekend again. Its usually Sundays where i get some alone-time and chill out in the comforts of my home and my room. I guess it is also Sundays where i become super-introspective, thinking about my life and everything that is going on around me.

Was super glad to get off work on Friday... it just means a stress-free weekend, not thinking about the crap left behind at the office. I just drop it all when i do the stupid finger-print shit to clock out... I headed on down to the mecca of all shoe-lovers in Sg... QUEENSWAY, to meet Ernie. He wanted to check out a pair of shoes that has just 'dropped' in town. Oh my, the street lingo has crept into my vocab unwittingly. Shoes weren't that fantastic so didn't buy it.

As we were strolling around, a super strong whiff of LAKSA hit us, and we realised we were starving... so we did the most unglam thing, and sat in the middle of QW to have a the self-proclaimed "authentic" laksa. It was seriously quite yummy. Both of us were pretty tired after laksa and we milled around for awhile before deciding to call it a day with plans to meet up again the next.

Saturday is usually my fave day of the week, as is his.

Something he said struck me, "we only get to see each other one day a week and i really hope it will always be happy, just spending time together, talking cock and walking around. i really look forward to it"

Yes, we're kinda boring people and we always hang out in town somehow, just walking around, chatting and talking about the people around us, laughing at the crappiest things. Somehow, the simplest things in life just makes you happy, puts a smile on your face and that feeling is indescripable.

The smart-ass/geek in me, decided that we should get advance tics for Harry Potter next week or it will prob be too late when we wanna come down and watch it. So we trooped on to Lido in apprehension, thinking we might be the only 2 idiots who are buying tics for next sat's show. Oh, we were so so wrong. Guess what, the 5.45 pm show is totally sold out, and it was Lido for god's sake! Ha i am so glad we got the tics early or we would have no date with Harry, Ron and Hermione next week. Not sure why, but we both realised that we liked Lido more than Cine, even though the seats are pretty much rocking chairs... Conclusion, cos its too crowded with GNPs over at Cine. (GNPs are aka gin na pis, hokkien equivalent of young punks, haha) Sometimes, young punks are just irritating. They swear and converse at the highest decibel level possible and they have no idea how uncool they are. Eeeeks. Just staying out of their way and sticking to the less cool but also less crowded Lido.

Oh, i digress...

Moral of the story is... if you wanna watch Harry Potter next weekend... get your tics now man! The Potter fanatics are true to their name.

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Recently i have been reading alot of blogs and somehow i feel alot about them. Blogs reveal so much about the way someone leads his/her life. Reading them reveal alot about one's life choices. I keep a fair share of blog addresses in my mind, and reading them helps to balance my own life. Some show me that, in life, fairy-tales still exist, that happily-ever-after is not a vulgarity. Others show me that life is real, that there are pain and suffering in each and every one of us, and a select few show me, how a failed rship can really turn you into a skeptic and in turn lead to some really drastic life decisions.

I guess, having a sneak peek into others' life remind me of my own. They remind me to be content with what i have, to be happy with what is given to me, and relish the situation that i am in. However, they also remind me, that if i don't work for what i want, it might still end up a mess instead of a fairy-tale. I guess, knowing about others' lives, balances me in such a way and teaches me about the true lessons of LIFE...

well there has been a lot of hoo-ha in the blogosphere, with the drama surrounding xiaxue, dawn yang and the weird media. What is the BIG deal here? Alamak... just let these people write what they want, it is not like the entertainment business, these people are actually private people! hah.
All this crap about blogitics... tsk. Isn't a blog just an online journal? Since when do people hafta be penalised for writing about their feelings? Sigh.

Anyway 10th of November is also a great day. It's a special day cos it's YAN's BDAY! Yan is one of my very good buddies all the way back from pri sch. He has seen me through good times and bad. We have a serious "love-hate" rship, but still bickering with him is so much more fun than with others, though he really does get on my nerves sometimes. He is a worthy competitor. Ha. Back in the good old school days, his competitiveness used to spur me to do better, just so i could thrash him in the class rankings. Being the smart-ass that he is, its difficult to even beat him, much less, thrash.

We've grown up since the good old Nan Hua days and we've bonded in so many different ways. Right now, he is in Taiwan, pursuing his degree, and doing all of us proud, and of course, i couldn't be happier for him as he has found Pian to share his life with. I love him like a brother and i wish him all the best. Most of all, i wanna wish him a really HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY!
We'll celebrate it nice and proper when you're back in Dec ok! Have a great time on your special day!


The original se7en...

One of my fave pics with everyone, the whole family (sorry Sereen, Rongxuan, and Pian.. ) We need a 'chuan jia fu'!

I just came back from a run with ah jia and mama kate. =) Wow, it was a great run and a good workout. Just hope i don't ache too much tml.

Running round the track really brought back alot of memories. The good old days when I used to train. I am officially a sucky runner now. But tearing down the 'straights' of the track was nostalgic, and even more so, the curves. I relish running against the wind and the adrenaline rush that the sport brings. Now, if only i could last longer and sprint as fast as i used to...

Today was a pretty good day. Alot of great news. Some words Merly said, touched not only my heart, but his heart as well. I really appreciate it. Alot of snippets of good news, and even my silly horoscope was great!

"It's finally time for you to think about just one thing: what makes you happy. Fortunately, there's someone special who's feeling concerned about that same issue right now. Enjoy their company and they'll certainly enjoy yours."

I only believe the good, and if its bad, i either ignore it, or i get prepared mentally. Ha.

Ended the day with a nice conversation. Put a smile on my face.

Now, it's my turn to put a smile to yours...





Check out the boy's expression... damn freaking funny, and of course, not forgetting his gloating pals at the back.

Priceless.

You know how sometimes when you're single, the world around you seems to be made up of so many people that come and go so fleetingly in your life? You are meeting different friends every single night, hanging out and chilling with various groups of important people whenever you're free.

Suddenly when you're in Couple-dom, everything seems kinda scaled down. It's not so much that you lose yourself, or lose the friends around you. You still do the same things and hang out with different groups of people, but you don't go around sharing your "load" as much.

Back in the 'trying' times, which was the first few months of my breakup, i found alot of people to share my life with. There were alot of passers-by in my life, and i ended up sharing alot with my various friends and even grew really close to some. Somehow, i wanted to share my problems, my woes, my happiness and my sadness with them, cos i didn't have that special someone. I could repeat my stories or my feelings over and over to at least 5 different people. I just opened up to people who i was never even close to begin with. They listened, maybe cos they wanted to, and some, maybe who were just being polite. Though it was hard, suddenly i gained a few more friends in the process, those who heard me whined, which really happen to be his friends. My own friends are fantabulous, they have been rock solid, by my side. But, his friends surprised me too. I kept thinking the only reason they even talk to me was because of him. I guessed wrong, somehow they cared, just like my own friends too. Thanks if you're reading this, Ans, Meng and Shaun. It meant alot to me.

I guess what i am trying to say is that, for a long while, there were many other people in both our lives, me and him. But as things unfold and work their way out, we still trust and confide in each other. Things are pretty much almost back to what they used to be. We talk, we laugh, we tell our happiest thoughts to each other and share our saddest moments together. It just happened naturally, and we couldn't even plan it. Unknowingly, we're kinda each other's rock again.

It just seems right. Feels right.

Thanks for being here and reaffirming it.

There are many kinds of love out there... platonic love, family love, sibling love etc etc. Sometimes, many things out there are mistaken as love.

Sympathy could be mistaken as love. Sometimes, people are together out of sympathy for another's situation. Ain't right, and never would last.

Responsibility could also be mistaken as love. Maybe one has decided to leave when the relationship is not working out, and might be trying to stay around to not make things worse, to just help the other through. It's not love, but it is more of friendship and concern. Nothing more.

Companionship may also be mistaken as love. Sometimes when 2 people are lonely, they somehow decide to spend the time with each other. Not exactly love, but purely for companionship.

Sometimes there is a really fine thin line between these emotions and the ONE emotion you call love. So how do you really know when it is love? Well, you just trust in your heart. Maybe when it is right, you just know. There is no explanation for it.

I found love, not just companionship, but true love. Something that i thought i once lost, but i guess, you can never really lose it, when it is true. Most of all, i am glad that it is mutual.

You can't find love where it doesn't exist, but you can't hide it either where it does. Unrequited love is probably the most painful of all, nothing will come out of it, and i have learnt from my past experiences, that letting go is the best way out. Only then will true love come knocking at your door. It happens when you least expect it...

Love, a many splendoured thing...

Love hurts, but sometimes, it is all worth it.

I mean, why settle for something that is easy, but not what you want afterall? Isn't it better to have something that is difficult to come by and to have both appreciate it so much more.

Such is my life story.

It is hard to tell that surveyor who is curious, or that old friend that we're no longer together. It's sad to even say it. But at the end of the day, that hand squeeze and reassuring Sms will always make it all worth it. At least it is as sweet as maple syrup.



Fuchsia Birks and 'Ultramans'

Its a cold and dreary Friday morning. I like the rain but i like it even more when i can snooze in bed and not wake up for work. It is days like this, where we just wanna curl up into a ball and flop around on the bed. It would be extra nice to have someone to cuddle up to.

Well, somehow, work still has to be done and i am sitting at my desk on this perfectly nice "sleepy" day typing away about the Chronicles of Narnia, which happen to be a nice "sleepy" day book during my younger days. Yawn.

The other day it really dawned on me how many people really like clubbing. When i was at Zouk, the queue was super long, and there were like 3 different queues from 3 different directions and i couldn't even see the door! My friend actually queued 2 hours just to get in. I love clubbing occasionally, cos its fun to dance the night away and just have stress-free fun. But, i don't really understand those who seem to club every single week, throwing away a few hundred bucks each night. What do they really get out of it?

Really, to each his own. Some people really dig the music and they can tell the difference between the various genres of house music, they go there for the DJs and they love it. Some just really love dancing and grooving to the beat. Some just want the free flow of alcohol. Some go there just to be seen. Others go there to hit on members of the opposite sex (or to get hit on)... the list goes on.

Maybe i am old or too introspective, but i am not a prude. I love dancing and love my vodka, but somehow, clubbing does really bring out a really stark sense of loneliness. Somehow it is more pronounced after a night out. Not too sure why, but it sure is present. It still is great as a once-in- a-while activity, but i hope i would never be labelled as "chiongster". I would much rather chill out and chat over drinks in a jazz bar, or go "pong-ing" away on the mahjong table.

But... till the next 'chiong' session...

Huijia acting cute/Mama Kate looking cute/ Nice tweed dunks and Apple Green Birks/ One of my fave people in the world/ Me@ Fish & Co. /Ernie and I @ Essential Brew x 2/ Edna Mode guarding my stationery on my office desk (including bimbo furry pen)/ Desktop in office with my middle name "Flirt"/ Tinkerbell sticker on my desktop/ My gal, Yun and I / Ditto/ Yuling and I/ Yuling and Yun/ Ling Jinni Yun @ Momo/ Ling Jinni Me @ Momo


Snippets of my life.

Counting my blessings and would like to share some of them who made me smile the last few weeks, thus the photo entry. Also, cos, people who would like to know the resolution of the new SE phone... hehe these pics are all taken on the phone. Not too shabby eh?

My wonderful colleagues make my life in the office bearable. My track friends bring back the good old memories and they are great girlfriends. Ernie gives me happiness that no one else could. My stuff on the desk keep me going to do my best in the crappy office.



My blessings.

Well, back at work. This week is a week of many "fridays" and many "mondays". heh.

Went to Raffles Hotel for their famous seafood buffet on Monday nite.
Ooooh the lobsters were amazing! I had enough lobs to last me for the rest of this year. They had really nice seafood combis, like lobster ravioli with avacado and salsa, served in a shot glass, they also had seafood ragout and yummy duck rolls. Well, oyster fans, you will love this buffet, with fresh oysters and baked oysters with cheese. Not forgetting the amazing dessert spread with nicely laid out gourmet chocolates. You want it, you name it, there are dark chocolates, milk chocolates, marble chocolates, chocolates with praline, liquer chocs... it is to die for. And, i haven't even gone on to the sorbets! Lychee and strawberry... yummy.

Boss was quite nice to give us this treat even though we're usually overworked and underpaid... but it made up for abit of the suffering that he put us through.

As i was saying in my last post, the nice people over at SE were nice enough to send me a review unit for the latest walkman phone in town, the W550i. Everything seems pretty perfect about this phone, 1.3 mp camera (with light, not flash, just some light to shine onto ur face), MP3 function, FM radio and it looks pretty good in white too! All except for the fact that it doesn't have expandable memory! Tsk tsk... what a waste. It's ok for me cos i am not huge on music, but yeah, it does kinda ruin it. The OS isn't all that fantastic either... cos it is kinda laggy sometimes. So now u know... =)

Heading down for a nite out with the girls... will be happy to hit Dbl O and Zouk tonight, ha, hoping to cover some ground and dance the night away! Enjoy the 2nd Friday in a row... haha can't wait till the 3rd Friday....